In long-expected move - legislators, school districts outlaw the children (Satire)

Laurie Rogers, via a kind email

Perched up there the tears of others are never upon our own cheek."
― Elizabeth Goudge, The White Witch

"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

Republicans, Democrats, progressives, communists, anarchists, elitists, corporatists and fascists are finally working together - in a multi-partisan effort to look the same. Having outlawed logic several sessions ago, Washington legislators are fixing education by breaking it some more.

• HB 2799 would pay the deep thinkers in the colleges of education to "partner" with K-12 on "innovation," thus sending all of us farther into financial, academic and social ruin.
• HB 2337 would pay the geniuses at the state education agency to write online curricula in alignment with the unfunded, unproved, arguably illegal, obscenely expensive de facto federal mandate called the Common Core. Legislators who had promised to help fight off the Common Core defended their support of HB 2337 by saying, "Shut up. Don't be so negative."
• HB 2586 would pay for mandated standardized testing of kindergartners, getting them started early with government brow-beating and low self-esteem. Legislators explained the idea: "Why should kindergartners feel good about themselves? Nobody else gets to do it."
• HB 2533 was affectionately dubbed "Fund the Education Mob First." Legislators defended their support of this bill by refusing to discuss it.

School districts already suffering from a phenomenal growth in their operating and capital projects budgets over ten years have been forced to consider doing things properly and efficiently. Desperate, they begged for help, and lawmakers came to their aid by voting to eliminate everything from school buildings other than administrative staff. As a matter of efficiency, the measures became law before they were written.

As a result of these measures, school district buildings in Washington State soon will have nothing in them but administrators, support staff and "Vote Yes for Kids!" signs. Forums were held around the state to pretend to gather feedback. In Spokane, administrators shrugged and said, "So what? We've already begun to do that. We've been trying to get rid of the little buggers for decades."

As a result of these measures, school district buildings in Washington State soon will have nothing in them but administrators, support staff and "Vote Yes for Kids!" signs. Forums were held around the state to pretend to gather feedback. In Spokane, administrators shrugged and said, "So what? We've already begun to do that. We've been trying to get rid of the little buggers for decades."

Posted by Jim Zellmer at March 9, 2012 5:02 AM
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